This morning as I drove Tim to work just before 4am, through the steady rain pattering on the roof and the sound of the windshield wipers squeaking back and forth, I had a moment of seeing ourselves from a distance. “What a weird time in our lives,” is what I said to him. Wrapped up in those words are so many emotions – sadness about leaving friends and family behind, excitement about future opportunities, frustration with Tim’s current schedule, anticipation for something new, but overall there’s gratitude. I have to keep reminding myself where we’ve been this past year and what God has taken us through. Last night I was looking through photos that we’ve taken in the last several months – it’s the best way for me to remember the past and turn it around to thankfulness and praise. When I remember that we had next to no money when we decided to come out to Seattle with nothing but our car and a couple suitcases, and that we were blessed with a free place to stay during the two months it took us to find work, and that within 24 hours of signing a lease I lost the job opportunity I was promised and then Tim was offered a new position…when I remember these things I cannot help but be overwhelmed with gratitude for all of God’s provision.
The past few months have been very difficult for Tim and I. We’ve been homesick and exhausted and struggling a lot with where we are right now. When I look back at this though, I know we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be. We’re growing in ways we wouldn’t have if we’d stayed in Wheaton or moved near our families. New opportunities have been opened to us since moving out here – new friends, a new church, new challenges and encouragement for really starting our photography business. Despite the challenges and the hard decisions I’d like to shrug off, I’m trying to remember and live the saying I learned a few years ago when I was in Honduras – “Embrace the Chaos.” It’s in the hard places that we have the opportunity to be stretched and grown into who we’re meant to become. I have to keep remembering that.
it did. out loud.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I've learned a lot about patience and faith and perserverence from reading your thoughts and seeing how you two are living the first parts of your married lives.
matt
Matt- seriously, thank you for your words. It means so much to me that even one other person could be encouraged by what Tim and I are learning!
ReplyDeletethinking about the two of you this afternoon - here's to living in the tension and embracing the questions...keep fostering that holy curiosity as you walk forward in faithfulness and abandon the outcomes to God...
ReplyDeleteThank you Dan! Your words encouraged me to find my notebook from your Discernment class...I'm looking forward to going back through it :) I know there are some good nuggets of wisdom in there!
ReplyDeleteTim and I send a big hug from Seattle - we're going to be back in Wheaton shooting a wedding in June. We're looking forward to seeing you and Kat if you're in town!