Seattle Public Library

Seattle has the coolest library. True story. Last week my brother and I explored this maze of multicolored elevators, escalators, and staircases and I know we still didn't see everything... The architecture and design is just brilliant - I'll need another afternoon to go back and explore some more!

In other news, Tim has started a food blog! I definitely cannot take all the credit for the good food that we eat - Tim is much more of the creative genius behind dinner :) I'm constantly amazed by how much he knows about food, so I've been encouraging him to start a little blog to inspire others to try their hand in the kitchen. Head on over to check it out!

The Delicious Side of Seattle

Since my brother has been in town, we seem to have turned the corner into spring in Seattle. We've had little more than a spritz of rain before the sky gives way to sunshine, and for that I am incredibly grateful. I keep threatening to keep Christian here rather than send him back to school in Chicago - I'm afraid as soon as we put him on the plane the traditional gray sky and drizzle is going to return! A couple days ago we spent the afternoon exploring Pike Place and sampling food from all different corners of the market. We started at one end with Russian food at Piroshky Piroshky before making our way through the fresh produce where I found some strawberries to snack on. Tim and Christian were much braver than I and put their taste buds to the test with hotdogs from Gourmet Dog Japon. Awesome. We ended the afternoon with ice cream and root beer floats - not a bad day I'd say.

Embracing the Chaos

This morning as I drove Tim to work just before 4am, through the steady rain pattering on the roof and the sound of the windshield wipers squeaking back and forth, I had a moment of seeing ourselves from a distance. “What a weird time in our lives,” is what I said to him. Wrapped up in those words are so many emotions – sadness about leaving friends and family behind, excitement about future opportunities, frustration with Tim’s current schedule, anticipation for something new, but overall there’s gratitude. I have to keep reminding myself where we’ve been this past year and what God has taken us through. Last night I was looking through photos that we’ve taken in the last several months – it’s the best way for me to remember the past and turn it around to thankfulness and praise. When I remember that we had next to no money when we decided to come out to Seattle with nothing but our car and a couple suitcases, and that we were blessed with a free place to stay during the two months it took us to find work, and that within 24 hours of signing a lease I lost the job opportunity I was promised and then Tim was offered a new position…when I remember these things I cannot help but be overwhelmed with gratitude for all of God’s provision.

The past few months have been very difficult for Tim and I. We’ve been homesick and exhausted and struggling a lot with where we are right now. When I look back at this though, I know we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be. We’re growing in ways we wouldn’t have if we’d stayed in Wheaton or moved near our families. New opportunities have been opened to us since moving out here – new friends, a new church, new challenges and encouragement for really starting our photography business. Despite the challenges and the hard decisions I’d like to shrug off, I’m trying to remember and live the saying I learned a few years ago when I was in Honduras – “Embrace the Chaos.” It’s in the hard places that we have the opportunity to be stretched and grown into who we’re meant to become. I have to keep remembering that.

I leave you with a few of the photos I was looking through last night. (I hope the last one makes you laugh...)

Woodland Park Zoo

Since my brother has been in town, we've enjoyed showing him our favorite places, as well as some new ones. While Tim was at work on Tuesday, Christian and I went over to the Woodland Park Zoo to see the animals. I've enjoyed having this week off of work to spend with my brother, to catch up on sleep, and to cook yummy food for Tim and Christian. We started planning Christian's spring break for him nearly a year ago when we thought there was a possibility of us moving out to Seattle :) I'm so grateful to have this time with him now, since he'll be spending the summer in Rome, playing Indiana Jones. (I'm only a lot jealous.)

Today we're headed to see the Star Wars exhibit at the Pacific Science Center...We grew up on Star Wars and Star Trek, so I'm sure it'll be a good time!

Sunny in Seattle

Last Saturday was pretty much the most perfect day we could have asked for here in Seattle. My brother flew in the night before, welcomed to a dismally gray soggy city, and I was concerned we'd spend the week indoors, wishing for warmer weather. I was proven wrong though the next morning when the clouds cleared, and all of Seattle seemed to shake off their winter blues and run outside to feel the sun on their skin. We drove all around the city, showing Christian all the different views of downtown before having dinner at one of our favorite spots on Queen Anne hill. More photos coming soon from our other exploits around the city!

Replacing Fear with Joy

Recently I’ve been so encouraged by my friend Lily through the blog that she began a few weeks ago. I’m inspired by the honesty with which she writes – she opens up her heart to reveal what she is struggling with, and in doing so, has put words to many of the same things I myself have been working through. The past several weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions - several nights I’ve found myself curled up in Tim’s arms sobbing for no apparent reason. There’s homesickness, exhaustion, and boredom with the present mixed with feelings of being overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. What do the next few months look like for us? Will I still be at Starbucks and Tim at Blue Nile? When do we want to go to grad school and how will we afford it? Are we wasting our time right now or is there something more we’re supposed to be learning? And if we’re supposed to be learning more, what is it?

A couple weeks ago when I was feeling really discouraged and weary, I pulled out My Utmost for His Highest looking for some word of encouragement. I found this: “When Jesus asks us what we want Him to do for us in regard to the incredible thing with which we are faced, remember that He does not work in commonsense ways, but in supernatural ways. Watch how we limit the Lord by remembering what we have allowed him to do for us in the past: I always failed there, and I always shall; consequently we do not ask for what we want. “It is ridiculous to ask God to do this.” If it is an impossibility, it is the thing we have to ask. If it is not an impossible thing, it is not a real disturbance. God will do the absolutely impossible… When once we see Jesus, He does the impossible thing as naturally as breathing. Our agony comes through the willful stupidity of our own heart. We won’t believe, we won’t cut the shore line, we prefer to worry on.”

Instead of stopping at focusing on my worries and what I’m frustrated with, it’s helpful to remember the things I’m grateful for and what I find joy in… I’m so grateful for my internship – the reason we came out here to Seattle. Sarah and Chris are always beyond encouraging and I’ve learned so much in the two months I’ve been with them. I’m grateful for the church we attend and for the community that we want to become more involved in. I’m grateful for a roof over my head, for food to eat, for a comfortable bed to sleep in. I find joy in the many walks that Tim and I go on to talk through things. Listening to Tim play his guitar brings me so much calm and joy. Reading a good book while drinking a warm cup of tea also brings me joy. And taking time to remember all that God has brought us through to get us to where we are now begins to calm my fears and replace them with joy.

Today Tim and I wrote a list of hopes for the future, goals we want to set for ourselves, and dreams that we have. It was SO helpful to get our minds out of the doldrums that we’ve been in, to imagine, to allow ourselves to dream. In writing this list we included things that to us seem impossible, with the knowledge that God can do the absolutely impossible.

Momma Kroll Visits Seattle!

This past weekend Tim's mom flew out from Maryland to visit us here in Seattle. She and I kept this trip a secret from Tim for nearly two months while we weighed the possibilities and then she was finally able to buy a ticket. We had a great time showing her around the city - our new home, all the fun touristy attractions such as Pike Place Market and the Fremont Troll and the Ballard Locks, and of course our favorite donut place. It was a really sweet time of sharing with her what our life looks like out here. Lately we've been really feeling the distance between Seattle and our parents on the other side of the country, so it was the perfect timing.

There was a moment this weekend when the three of us were cooking in the kitchen together and I had an overwhelming desire to thank Vivian for Tim. It might sound weird, but at that moment it struck me how SO much of who Tim is today is because of who Vivian and Jeff are and how they raised Tim and his brothers. I happened to be hugging Tim when this struck me, and I looked over at Vivian and said "Thank you for this boy. I love him a LOT." Those were the only words I could muster in that moment, but despite their simplicity I hope the depth of what I meant still carried through.